I've been rather reflective of late. On Thursday 6 May, I turn 30 and have used the past few weeks to look back on the things I've achieved in my twenties, and contemplate what I've learnt in this time period so I can embrace the challenges which lay ahead. I must say, I'm rather excited to enter my thirties and have been so since I was about six. While my peers have dreaded the big three-zero, I'm completely the opposite.
But let me trace back my steps. Ten years ago, I was a 20-year-old University student living in North Wales and probably a quarter of weight lighter. Politically, David Cameron had been Prime Minister for a year, and Barack Obama occupied the White House. The UK was very much a member of the European Union and Manchester City was still searching for its first Premier League title. LMFAO reached number one in the UK singles chart with "Party Rock Anthem" and Amy Winehouse (who tragically died two months later) and Adele dominated the UK's album chart. The Marvel blockbuster Thor was the highest grossing film.
Okay, so culturally and politically, things haven't changed much in ten years (if you use 2011 and 2021 as stationary instances, and completely disregard the dramas in the middle). Plus, we still have ear-bleeding techno music reaching the dizzying heights at the charts and expensive superhero films will continue to dominate cinema screening times. And we common folk aren't able to do much about any political mayhem apart from sharing our delights and despair on Twitter.
For me though, the past ten years has seen significant change. I approached it thinking I was on my way to becoming a reporter. As I approached 21, when completing my journalism degree, I decided to take on public relations instead, as I discovered I had a passion for journalism, as opposed to being a journalist. It was 21 I was perhaps at my happiest and most frustrated - happiest because I was a Games Maker at the London 2012 Olympics. Quite honestly, the six weeks I volunteered was the most euphoric I'll ever be up to this point - I met the most amazing people and it was as though the nation could drop all their stresses and anger and celebrate life; which was the opposite feeling the year previous when we witnessed nationwide rioting. Everywhere around me, there was joy and positivity. It was truly delightful, and showed the best of Britain. Nine years on, I still look back at that time with great fondness. Around that time, I graduated from Bangor too, so overall, the summer of 2012 was simply brilliant.
With happiness came personal frustration. Being a University graduate with a decent degree, I appreciated the challenges that laid ahead; unemployment was rife and the job market was highly competitive. The country was going through financial turmoil and crippling austerity. Living on Job Seekers' Allowance was dispiriting to say the least, especially having been in that hole for a year. Perseverance eventually paid and I was finally given an opportunity to launch my career in PR, in Somerset. Six months after that, I moved to the big smoke - and not looked back from London and Surrey since December 2013.
You can see that my twenties has been very much career-focused. What I've certainly learnt in my line of work is that it's not remotely 9-5 and the moment I'm home by 7-7.30pm most days, the first thing on my mind is to switch off and catch up with EastEnders and a good documentary or two. It's certainly a top priority of mine in my thirties to not become a male, teetotal, Bridget Jones - hopeless, isn't it? Regardless, I feel as if the past ten years has opened my eyes to key lessons which I was too ignorant to consider when I was 19 and has therefore shaped me as a 29-year-old:
- Be tolerant of others; looking back at my late teens and early twenties, I jumped to conclusions so quickly and judged people far too quickly. You often learn the hard way who your allies are and who aren't, but clearly don't be rash and swift when concluding a given scenario.
- Know that things will be alright; I remember visiting a Savile Row client once and a tailor there tried to measure me as I wanted to experience a typical customer journey. The tailor said to me, when measuring my chest, "You can relax now, John." I thought I was but apparently, I wasn't. I was an anxious child and teen, and the habits do continue; I don't think that'll ever change. I'd like to think I'm a little better now than what I used to be, which I suppose is a good sign. I just wanted things 'right' and I had constant fears that if things went awry, or I didn't get the results I felt were justified, something bad will happen (to me and/or others). But life has been okay during the good moments and calamities, so why worry, I wonder. Again, you learn that the hard way and now, I channel that famous Doris Day hit, 'Que Sera Sera'.
- Keep an open mind; it's refreshing to appreciate and listen to people's point of views. I've heard more than once, "It's okay to get off the fence, John," which I do at times, honest. I have views, but I also understand how and why others see the world differently. We're all human after all. And the more everyone else sees that, trust me, there'll be fewer conflicts.
- Read the room and give space; if you're happy and the person nearest to you doesn't appear so, the last thing you do is list all the reasons why life is good to you. I've learnt to be a lot more empathetic these past few years. Of course, I know I can improve on this, and not create arguments with people you like, raising points you know would rile them and others. I still need to grapple with the wise saying, "Think before you speak."
- Your ideas change, and so do others'; one of my favourite quotes is by boxer Muhammad Ali, who once said, "The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life," and I truly believe that. Again, when you're young, you're set in your ways and have a clear sense of what you like and don't. When that 'clear sense' alters, learn to embrace it, even if it's as simple as you liking aubergines when before you couldn't even look at it.
- It's okay not to be interested, and step away; bad news and negative encounters can be rattling and, sadly, equally inevitable. Big bumps are just that, and it's okay to feel in the dumps. I know this is normal now, before I thought it'd be easy to get over bad days - now, I just acknowledge it and accept tomorrow will be a better day - Captain Sir Tom Moore certainly stitched that in our minds over the last year. Storms will pass and when you're ready, be creative and get involved in things you never thought you would do before, no matter how big or small.
Entering a new decade means setting out new goals and ambitions, and that's what I'm trying to map out. There are definitely things I want to do and achieve between now and 39. While I'll never set deadlines for these goals and ambitions, it's important to have them so you've something to look forward to.
I'm a firm believer that learning is living. If you're no longer in your thirties, please send me your thoughts on what I need to prepare for over the next ten years.
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