How we deal with international grief

Floods of sympathy for the victims of recent attacks in Orlando, Florida (Image: Fox43.com)

Grief is a natural emotion that comes in different forms. Whether there is a death, life-changing injury, a job loss, we all have our own ways to express how we truly feel. Grief is something we will all encounter in our lifetime and this used to be dealt with privately. We choose to express our supposed negative emotion to a local or wider network of people. Before social media was introduced globally, we used to grief without the whole world knowing in an instant. Even when we mourned complete strangers, like those who lost their lives on 9/11 for example, many of us were shocked and saddened about the tragedy that occurred, but we didn't have platforms to go overboard with our sympathy.

This is where I'd like to reflect on two recent circumstances that has led people to go extra lengths to show their respect and offer condolences to people who most of us will never meet. The first is of the ordeal in Orlando a fortnight ago, when a man single-handedly killed 50 innocent people in a nightclub in the US state of Florida. It was the largest mass killing in the United States since when the two planes hit the Twin Towers nearly 15 years ago. This naturally got the world talking and many went that much further to show how much they were affected by it all.

It started when the news broke in the early hours of Sunday morning. Initially, it was perceived as another mass shooting in the States, something which happens too frequently in a country many nations look up to as the Dream. But then further information ensued that this was a hate crime, performed by an alleged homophobic who went into a gay bar and caused such upheaval, which dominated the talking points. Social media then went buzzing with many who support the LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender) community, and those who are part of it, took to their accounts to show their shock and disgust that such a thing could happen, by sharing statuses and changing profile pictures to show their support to those affected.

Some more people went much further than social media. The day after the event saw cities around the world like London's Soho area perform their own vigils. Thousands turned out in solidarity mood, showing that the world will not tolerate hatred towards societies that previously were unfairly singled out as a burden, and this was portrayed largely delicately by the media.

Support for Jo Cox after MP's passing (Image: IBTimes)

Meanwhile, just last week, tragedy hit closer to (UK) home. In the outskirts of Leeds in Yorkshire, Labour MP Jo Cox was doing her duty by attending to her constituents' needs, doing what thousands elected her to do. But at 12.53pm, her life would soon come to a shocking end when a man in his 50s shot and stabbed her multiple times. Cox was confirmed dead at her local hospital.

The motive of the attack is yet to be clear but again, like the aftermath of Orlando nearly two weeks previous, there were floods of support and sympathy on the social media front. We even saw condolences offered from the likes of Hillary Clinton and many other globally recognised politicians, Labour Party supporters, and even opponents of the organisation she proudly represented.

It was clear Jo Cox touched the lives of many. Throughout her political career, she built bridges on a humanitarian front with Britain and abroad, with her efforts to support refugees in war-torn Syria widely recognised. Even with these efforts, she united opposing political parties with her cause - ensuring their domestic differences are put to one side for the benefit of the global community. And when Parliament was recalled this week, we saw both sides of the House of Commons deliver their personal accounts on an individual that has contributed so much at a small space of time.

But I am personally puzzled by the level of sympathy both tragic events have attracted. We have been here before. When it came to the recent horrendous events in France and Brussels over the past 18 months and when, say, Fusilier Lee Rigby was killed in broad daylight in May 2013, large numbers of us go out of our way to express our grief about events that hadn't directly affected us, and offering condolences for people we would never have met. To me, I feel we are following a trend in showing that we care without producing any viable solution so we, as a global community, can actively stop any further circumstances from occurring again.

Showing solidarity (Image: IBTimes)

We need to firstly look at the culprits, who have reportedly extreme views not reflected in modern society. In Orlando, the man was someone who had apparently supported openly homophobic so-called Islamic State who admittedly caused such atrocities in France and Brussels in 2015, and disruption across the Middle East. A combination of that exploitation and America's open access towards killer automatic rifles caused the death of 50 innocent victims. There have been reports of this particular extremist being homosexual himself and was in denial about his identity and lashed out on those who had his orientation. But he is also now departed so he can't answer the questions that remain. But even if he was gay, I struggle to know why he wasn't brought through the process whereby realising that being this way was okay. And if he were to have views related to groups like Islamic State then deterring him, and many others, away from this could have saved his life and the 50 others too.

The same rule applies to the man, identified as 52-year-old Tommy Nair. When he performed such vile act in Leeds last week, he apparently proclaimed 'Britain First', a far-right group that advocates the anti-immigration stance Jo Cox stood up against. It has been reported that he does support such extreme ideology and that he has a history of mental health issues. Despite these, none of those who know both the Orlando culprit and Nair, would admit to knowing the reported truths about the motives behind such hideous crimes. As a society that is happy to share our favourite cat videos, surely we can do the same about making serious things public knowledge that truly matter. These little things that can save lives and prevent tragedies from happening in the first place.

Lastly, I would discourage social media as a whole to encourage mass-condolences which for me opens the door to the crimes that we never want to see. The media has a tendency to emphasise the motives and those who hold extremist views, take pride in causing destruction that has attracted global attention. It's their form of publicity. We may despise it but if we tried to keep their efforts noticed to a minimum, they'll be forgotten. They'll be seen as insignificant - even if we know these murders hold some significance.

And also, for what has happened, while I can't speak on behalf of the victims' loved ones, I think by allowing these stories to go on for as long as they have, lacks the sensitivity of the events. If I were in that situation of knowing someone who lost their life in traumatic circumstances, I'd want to grief privately, not be reminded of that loved one's passing by news outlets weeks after it happened. We're just the outsiders who show we care, yet they're the opinions and views we have to respect the most - and respect is crucial to ensuring that society isn't divided and that we have a common understanding that hatred isn't tolerated on any accord.